DesertStandard

Gifts
On the anniversary of his birth, devotees of a certain yogi asked what gifts they might bring.
The yogi replied “I wish no gifts, only presence”

–previous in Yoga.com

Knock knock
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Yoga
Yoga who?
Yoga to try this, it feels amazing.

via @ Lucid Dreams

Meditation
Two good old friends were meeting. “How are you and your family?” asks the one. “Oh we’re all fine”. The other one answers, “We’re all healthy and have work to earn our lives. But how ’bout your son?? is he still workless??” “Not at all”, the first one answers, “He’s doing meditation now.” “Meditation? What’s this? What is he doing?” “I don’t know it exactly,” the first one answers again, “But I’m sure it’s better than just sitting down and doing nothing!”

via @ Lucid Dreams

The Lone Bat
A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave discovers a single bat STANDING upright underneath on the floor of the cave. Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: “What’s wrong with you? What are you doing down there?” And the fellow shouts back: “Yoga!”

via @ Lucid Dreams

Q. Why did the yogi refuse anesthesia when having his wisdom teeth removed?
A. He wanted to transcend-dental-medication!

via @ Lucid Dreams

Q. How many Iyengar yogis does it take to replace a light bulb?
A. Only one !

BUT, they will need:
a sticky mat
a backless chair
two blocks
five blankets
a bolster
six ropes
two belts
six assorted benches
a bandage
a slant board
two quarter rounds
three weights
one wooden horse
a certificate

via @ Lucid Dreams

Q. What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his home selling vacuum cleaners?
A. Too many attachments!

via @ lucid Dreams

Q. What did the yogi say to the sandwich vendor at the ball game?
A. Make me one with everything!

After the man received his sandwich, he gave the vendor a $20 bill. The vendor just smiled. The
man, infuriated, demanded, “Where is my change.”
The vendor replied, “O, one with everything, change comes from within.”